So believe it or not, I usually have a hard time during the holidays. Christmas is a tough one for me, because while I absolutely love the message and the meaning of Christmas, I really struggle with the rest of it. It's tough on me financially, and I usually feel splintered from my family and long for the Christmases of my childhood when we'd all be together. And now that both my mom and dad have passed on, I feel pretty lonely. This will be my first Christmas without my dad, whom I was especially close to.My husband's family are all far away, and I know that he misses them dearly too.
Countering that, I now have a baby girl to help stir up some joy in me. While I am a practicing Catholic, I don't really have a problem with the idea of Santa Claus or reindeer or any of that stuff. I know many Christians would argue that Santa is blasphemous and takes away from the true message of Christmas, but I think it's okay as long as we don't loose sight of the truth. Really, Santa is based on a saint, and his whole schtick is to spread cheer and joy and make little kids happy. How can I argue with that?
Don't get me wrong, the ridiculous over-marketing and commercialism of the holiday is enough to make me want to barf. Example: Shopping in Wal-Mart the day after Halloween and hearing the cheesiest, schlockiest Christmas music piped over the speakers.
Sally is too young to really understand anything about Christmas. We went shopping at Cross Iron Mills today for something to do, and I forgot how insane Christmas shoppers are. Sally seemed stunned by the throngs of busy people. She was eager to get out and walk and run in the mall, but it was just so busy that she kept getting knocked around. I felt bad for the kid. She did enjoy the pretty lights and decorations though, and she was particularly enthralled by a shining star and light strand display. She lifted both arms over her head and tried to touch the sparkly things, cooing and talking a mile-a-minute. She's so funny.
But it waswatching all those people clamour over racks and shelves and each other, clutching SO many bags of stuff that I actually felt grateful that we don't really have disposable income right now. My husband and I are going to spend a little bit on Sally- maybe 2 toys, and I usually like to support a few of my favourite charities. I'm going to try extra hard to keep positive by spending time with those that are close to us and by remembering to take a few moments to pray when I feel sad. I'm going to remember all the incredible blessings God has given me- my little family, a roof over my head, food in our bellies, friends that love us. I've got no reason to feel badly, and when it comes to missing my mom and dad, I can take comfort in knowing that they are safe in heaven and free of illness and pain. All the presents in the world can't top that.
God Bless,
A
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